kugatsu

white horse

2010-10-29T11:16:00.002+08:00

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now

life's a bitch

2010-09-13T12:30:00.004+08:00

i've had my convocation and it feels like just yesterday i finished my last exam paper.
life is such a bitch seriously.
i already sense cruelty and bitches from here in my room, after sending out numerous resumes.
if it were the old times, i think i would have had sent a heap of hard copied resumes to the companies' mailbox by now.

how can we be positive, my friend.
in times like this, when all i need is a fkin job that steals my life away and hasten ageing and death day.

that is why we need loud music and crazy friends and fiery drinks to make life a lil' more interesting.

i don't wallow in self pity in my own room for pete's sake.
we need a life.
so why am i now here, not doing the things i want to do?

and so sometimes i like to pick on a fight,
instead of listening to what people would like me to do.
if doing the things that makes other people happy and not yourself,
it gradually feels like you're being taken advantage of, and he/she is sucking the shit outta you.

seriously, people either adore you or hate you.
be it they envy you or jus hate your fkin face.
before i step into the grounds of the corporate world, politics already creeps up.
when bitches or bastards talk.

'What i heard about you is totally right.'
it doesn't hurt if it's a positive statement. but what he meant was nothing of that sort.
and the worst thing was i am so positive the person he heard from was non other than the one who warned me that people talk.
alright, but who fkin cares.
because if the person who said that above statement rather listens to that male bitch who rat about me, so be it.
i don't find any need to explain myself to such people.

i don't do things that betray myself nor my friends.
if you think so, don't come act all nice with me you fkers.

fluffy !

2010-07-20T00:32:00.002+08:00

He asked, "Are you alright?"
I answered, "Yes? Why?"
He replied, "Haha, cuz of ur MSN nick. you said u gonna die. what do u mean by so fluffy?"

I didn't know what to reply seriously.

It's so fluffy I'm gonna die! - Agnes

getting older

2010-07-04T14:51:00.002+08:00

yes, fire, it hurts.

lies a plenty,
shrugs a plenty.
tell me how much time has past.
nevermind all that,
it's all the same to me now.
even though the worst thing about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth
becuase...

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts.

STARE

2010-06-18T15:09:00.000+08:00

The sun is out today!
What a day it was two days ago!
I didn't exactly witnessed the flood, but i'd rather be paddling in the puddles than being where i actually was.

My aim here is not to be extremely critical on certain beings but they should really learn what professionalism is.

The night before, I was thinking if I should go for this interview at a random recruitment agency. Where it was situated only meant it was a TINY company.
What a waste of time it was. Bah.

See, I was greeted by a nice middle age lady who gladly photocopied my documents.
Then in the meeting room, this young 'ah lian' looking person came in to greet me not so politely. She was wearing this over-sized wind breaker which made her look like she was wearing only that with a lanyard to perhaps make her look like someone who's working. Okay, my bad if I judged but I am open to how crappy you look like and I give every person an opportunity to prove to me he/she is a nice person.

First, I had 'Admin, HR, Marketing' written at the top, which was the areas I was searching for in a job. She asked me, "What level of Admin you wanna do?"
I looked at her blankly.
She went on to say, "Admin got a few levels. Assistant, Executive...".
I said nicely, "As long as it hits my expected salary I don't mind the title."
She continuted, "Admin assistant maybe 1.5k, exec maybe 1.7k"

I had no idea what to reply seriously. I had already stated my stand.
Then she went on to ask about HR. She said directly, "You no experience, cannot be at managerial level" (This I know duh) Well, I did not mention anything about being a manager. What lame shit was I hearing from this lady.

She then stated my expected salary of 2.4k (negotiable) was too high in a crude manner, and I should lower it to say 1.8k. Well, you may know the job market better than I do since you are a HR consultant (i'm sceptical about this still) but you're in this small company. Do you know about the bigger companies?

I told her, "There's a hospital offering me 2.4k, a fresh grad with no experience." to stop her from pushing the blame on me. She 'lan lan' and went on to pin point on my past work experience. She said, "These are not considered experience." And so she assumed that I treated all these past vacation jobs as me being experienced. I'm like DUHHHHH. Hello, I recognise very clearly that I am a FRESH GRADUATE, must I repeat? I told her, "I know I am a fresh grad and I am just looking for a full time career. These are just vacation jobs, but I still have to write them down under past work experience right?"

I'm not trying to promote how fairly a librian does things, but I tried very much to maintain this balance, of not being easily bullied as well as not getting too agitated myself, by such an attitude. I kept my cool.

She provided me 3 job offers. One i declined due to the location at some ulu industrial area, the other i did too because it was offering me 1.5k, and she was trying to promote it. The other I said was fine but she had no details about the salary. Then she tried to compare me with a PSLE graduate she interviewed earlier, saying that if I'm willing to earn lesser and willing to learn, everyone will hire me. I had no idea what she was driving at, but I couldn't be bothered to say anymore. I just assumed that she has this thing against graduates or people who converse in English properly, and that we are people who are very self-centered.

She said fresh grads are the worse and she has gone through the phase (i wonder where she graduated from).

"Last time one of my interviewers said these random jobs all considered job hopping," she said while pointing to the section of past work experience in my application form. She just wants to feel good and pin down a graduate. Well, it was definitely not professional and I guess I didn't want to play the defense game because these people will never quit. I guess I won because she said thank you like for the sake of saying so and I walked out of the meeting room, saying bye and smiling to the lady who photocopied my documents.

I won't expect any good job offers from her and will be glad enough if she doesn't contact me.

It was another fked up day yesterday. I was boiling mad, not so much because my contacts were non exchangeable/refundable, but this OLD, SENILE lady (in reality perhaps fifty odd) made me feel like slapping her.

I went into the optical shop and saw the lady whom I bought two pairs of contacts from on Monday. I stated that I bought the contacts from her and the left side of the contacts is faulty. She gave me the stare like she did not recognise me from 3 days back. I am fine with you not recognizing me but.. do read on..

She told me to have a seat while her younger colleague came back. I waited for about five minutes. Her colleague was patient although she has this straight face. She checked my lenses and said there was this particle and tear. Seriously, you won't know if they tell the truth, but i was already expecting it. The old lady came over to 'kaypoh' and asked, "That day you came I told you about your nails right?". I smiled at her like I acknowledged what she said and didnt say anything else. In reality, I had no idea whom she told, and didnt she not recognise me from just now?

The younger colleague continued to say that they really couldn't replace this piece of lense due to their supplier's orders. Okay, it seemed like I had no choice. I then said, "Then how do you check if the lense is okay if you don't open the seal?" I pry open the other box and asked her to check it.

The old lady went on to repeat, "That day I warn you about your nails", pointing at my hands. I gave her this face and said, "You did not tell me that". She replied, "Isit." You know, sacarstically. Feel like feeding her to the pigs.

I looked unhappily at the younger colleage and showed that I was going to leave. The lady repeated, "Be careful your nails lah, take care."

Firstly, I never have long nails.
Secondly, she didn't recognise me because I was a complaint customer.
Thirdly, she 'recognised' me again to be sacarstic about my nails.

They just lost a customer.

grad

2010-06-05T00:31:00.003+08:00

that 'book' is cast aside.
well, i have been really busy lately.
and i am pronounced a graduate!
with the ceremony in August.

been working part time here and there,
catching up with girlfriends and boyfriends.
time flies.

it's now the time for a transition,
investing a lil' in formal wear and stuff.
mixed feelings i have though.

but at least i have many things scheduled,
and lots to do! keeping myself very occupied with most saturdays to myself.
this is a good life without a partner. i like.

alright,
goodnight!

a book

2010-05-26T23:17:00.005+08:00

it's no wonder people get soaked up in the jobs.
an entire day at home really does make one blue.
unless you're hungover.

this week is going to be money churning.
part time work here and there.
it's not like i don't want to find a full time one,
but they just seem so wishy washy.
i feel like i'm folding aeroplanes out of resumes.
yes, it's the waiting game.

so i'm out taking up funny jobs, as well as
continuing the tutor job for two youngsters which provides me a reasonable amount of money for kicking and staying alive.

i've read of quarter-life crisis, a transition whereby people of my age might face.
in terms of wanting to obtain a higher formal qualification, competing for the best careers, living the best lives and building one's future.

if you've passed this stage, your own boss or living a contented life, do not laugh because it sounds absurb or 'just another phase' to you.

i cannot say that i will not fall under the trap of a crisis,
but i always try my very best to maintain balance and neutrality.
when you are too positive, you fall down harder.
being too negative only affects your daily life.

i used to be very much affected by my surroundings.
but as years pass, you realize you have the ability to choose to forget about things, people, happenings.
it's kind of sad and strange considering they consist of tears and laughter.

still,
no matter what others might say,
it's my own life i reign over.
and yes,
you lead your own life.

so long as everyone's happy.

i'm starting to write, a book perhaps, on events that some people around me might be familiar with. i don't exactly want to forget them all, but it's worth something, and to satisfy secret desires of becoming an author or editor.

the last lap

2010-05-03T13:06:00.002+08:00

after tomorrow's paper, it's gonna be all about
movies! shopping! partying! holidays!
omgawd i'm drooling.
and books i wanna read,
music pieces i wanna play,
drama series i wanna watch.

well, that's after the paper, and before a job i find.

ok, right now i need 100% concentration - study.
and yes, procrastination is the teeth of time.
so, ta

a bell curve

2010-05-01T23:38:00.003+08:00

breathe in, breathe out.
last paper on the fourth of may,
and am literally unable to describe my current state of mind and being.

people and more people.
news and more news.
updates and more updates.

it doesn't make sense for me to express how i feel.
and am reminded of those who say i don't show much emotion
and neither do i speak of them.

aloof it may seem,
negligence it may seem too,
but is it not right to tend to neutrality on everything?

whereby you choose not to cross the line of overjoy,
because a fall from that height would hurt more?
now it seems clear that i ain't ambitious.
not a risk-taker.
but i don't fret bout lil' stuffs either.

neither do i go missing in action, be a wet blanket, or literally sob till i wet my blanket because i am particularly depressed over a bastard who 'ruined my life' (just an example).
because it fkin doesn't make any sense to live in misery because of things, people, events or messages around you.
you control your own brain.
and i control mine.

of course i'm not a buoy or someone constantly at equilibrium.
still, variable we all are.

goodnight.

juxtaposition

2010-04-22T16:07:00.000+08:00

When the mind is filled with texts and more texts, and I literally mean texts from the books, it's annoying when one aggravates you.

I have a tendency to comment about people, critique more than compliment in fact.

It's too bad this blog is linked to other blogs, or I would be a total critic.

Just to summarize, I need peace. and when people annoy me with the littlest things I want to much to ask God why such people exist.

Men in all:
Too moody, too annoying, too sticky, too ignorant, too greedy, too boastful,
Okay. The list goes on forever.

The top on the list is a man (or rather a boy) being too 'smart' for his own good.
Weighing the cost and benefits, I rather break the bridge of relation with such a person.

Enough said. Some people just have too much time in their hands to think that I am obliged to talk to him/her.

oh

2010-04-15T13:09:00.000+08:00

angsty, grouchy, pissed.
and here we go again,
about life.
bah.

The story

2010-04-08T16:29:00.001+08:00

Broken dreams, broken dreams,
hopin' some day you'll see me.
Sky is gray, sky is gray,
but I'm dancin in the rain.
Live to sway, live to sway,
will you remember my name?
Live a lie, live a lie,
why don't you ask yourself why?

Don't you open your eyes?

Only the moon, only the moon, only the moon,
will hear my plea.
Only the creatures of the night,
will harmonize with me.
Missed you so, missed you so,
and I wondered if you know;
The wind has blown me in this corner
and it's hard to let go.

That's the story, that's the story
of you and me

That's the story, that's the story
of you and me

ten years down

2010-04-05T14:07:00.002+08:00

They say follow your heart, but when your heart is in so many pieces. Which way are you to follow?

Bright and sunny day.
Not too warm, just nice with a lil wind.
Good day for alfresco,
good day for people watchin.
A cuppa coffee, newspapers and a muffin.
Great way to start the day.

Beginning to feel positivity,
accepting upcoming changes and ready for adaptation.
well, not puberty, but a transition from school to the real world.
imma be putting in the effort for my last few assessments,
goin with the flow and where the arrow directs me to.

Not a time to be thinkin of being tied down to a partner.
perhaps currently there's more to life than obligations you can choose to have or not have.
yes, selfishly not prepared to share my life with anyone at the moment.

but still am not entirely selfish as i'm certain i want to be living a traditional life,
being somebody's perfect wife and an awesome mother of two smart children.

wanting to grow old with the one i love,
having adorable grandchildren,
what's more to desire in life?
than family and love?

waiting.

long awaited...

2010-03-29T21:30:00.003+08:00

i am a happy girl.
i have purchased my blackberry bold two.
f i n a l l y

a few of us went to zouk last saturday,
happy birthday my friend.
one thing i learnt that day,
was that if you wanna make sure you arrive at your destination in one piece with peace,
do take a mercedes cab.
professional service.

not pinpointing any taxi companies,
but sometimes if you wanna go somewhere like jiak kim street.
some still just don't get it for atupid reasons

1. trying to cheat your money
2. their bloody gps don't work
3. they don't follow the gps instructions (machine says 'turn right at the next junction.' driver stubbornly goes straight)
4. they stop at traffic lights and get a ticket from a police car just behind

nice huh.

virtual debate

2010-03-25T14:44:00.002+08:00

yawn.
sometimes everything's so boring.
we have so much time to be on our assignments,
yet we choose to login to msn and fb.
then we happen to see what's on people's minds.
leads to nonetheless - politics, even in fb,
people bitching directly or indirectly.
funny,
how people take things so seriously.
a remark, a comment, a question mark.
the world communicates no more on physical contact and emotions.
probably only emoticons that superficially represents our feelings like this =/
we hide our emotions but try to seek the other party's attention directly/indirectly using puns and such.
i'm going to leave this game of throwing bombs at others in this virtual world.
toodles!

faith

2010-03-24T17:35:00.003+08:00

when you don't want to have anything to do with a person,
isn't it better to draw this line asap?
staying as friends isn't going to beneficial for the one who still has feelings for the other.
hate it when people put up fronts,
then curse me for being so mean to them.
crazy.
some continues giving, and probably wants me to be touched eventually.
some gives then stops, saying i'm mean cus i don't give back.
whatever the case,
stoppit.
had enough of all these nonsense.
in all, i am a selfish brat whose life only revolves around me, me and me, and probably those i choose to care for, alright?
and a brat who doesn't care about how you feel bcus she aint givin you false hopes.
some get the hints and get lost,
some don't and they're the crappiest bunch (try luck, try tactics and such)
then in the end you'll have to hear my direct speech, things end up bloody, and you curse me.
wtf.
please don't tell me about love now.
you love me, i don't love you.
get the hint.
get someone else who loves you.

am risking my reputation for writing such crap,
wondering who in the right mind will read it.
if you're my girl/guy/gay friend, you'll totally understand.
if you're someone in one of the positions mentioned above,
you might just say 'screw you'.
i empathise with you.

"One Day You Will"

2010-03-23T13:19:00.000+08:00

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

[Repeat Chorus]

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

[Repeat Chorus]

One day you will
Oh one day you will

ward 11A

2010-03-23T13:06:00.003+08:00

i was admitted with a swollen left foot on sunday,
shouldn't even have gone to the hospital.
after the waiting, dripping, everything,
i feel weaker than before.
fml.

sleepless night because of the pain not caused by my problem foot,
but from the drip, just crap.
and i did emphasize i didn't want to see the doctor.
and tell me about being admitted on a drip.
fml.
hospital food, hospital smell, hospital clothes, feeling like a vegetable in all.

missing precious minutes and hours i could be doing my project.
you don't understand the life of a university student.

now i have to go to school with a weak right hand and a swollen left foot.
not going to be having a social life now,
i freakin have no time. tty again.

love, a drug

2010-03-15T01:45:00.004+08:00

it's all in the mind isn't it?
how we want to feel about things.
regardless of the environment and the people,
and how bad they make you feel,
it's all about how your brain handles how you feel about them i suppose.

i haven't been in the best of moods lately,
material things do serve as momentary means to happiness.
i know i wouldn't be happy if i had all the money in the world,
but i could be shopping ten hours a day,
sponsoring children,
having my dream boutique,
etc.

a woman doesn't need a man.
well,
answer this stupidly cliche question:
'what is love?'

tired of seeking for the answer.
tired of trying to make things work.
tired of telling myself to be rational.

it's simple when two people have the same kinda feeling for each other.

then it isn't when one drifts away, and the one tries to revive it.
been in both worlds, so tired.
giving up,
yet holding on to a stupid tiny dash of hope.

and
that i will commit, that he will commit.
something we probably are afraid of.

If we ever meet again

2010-03-08T15:11:00.001+08:00

Whats somebody like you, doing in a place like this?
say, did you come alone? or did you bring all your friends.
say, whats your name, what you drinking
i think i know what you're thinking
baby whats your sign, tell me yours ill tell you mine
say, whats somebody like you doing in a place like this

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away-ay - say, if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
if we ever meet again

say if we ever meet again

Do you come here much? I swear I've seen your face before
Hope you don't see me flash, but I cant help but want you more, more
Baby tell me whats your story
I ain't shy, don't you worry
I'm flirting with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight
So do you come here much, I gotta see your face some more, some more

coz baby I

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away-ay - say, if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
if we ever meet again

If we ever meet again
I'll have so much more to say (if we ever meet again)

If we ever meet again
i wont let you go away (said if we ever meet again)

If we ever ever meet again
i'll have so much more to say (say if we ever meet again)

If we ever ever meet again
i wont let you go away-ay-ay

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away-ay - say, if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
if we ever meet again

I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away-ay - say, if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
if we ever meet again

shhhh

2010-02-18T23:35:00.004+08:00

everyone sees everything here.
what does being discreet mean?
with the caution i feel i need to take,
and the feeling of being totally accountable for everything i say,

the updates seem like they're decreasing,
consciously actually.
sometimes i log in, to want to rant.
but the consequences are at stake.

my thoughts on the environment, inclusive of the people around me in particular,
may not be filled with joy and laughter.
not being a particularly happy-go-lucky person doesn't bring me to boast my daily productive and blessed matters.
i wouldn't want to be responsible for explaining why i said something negative about a particular individual.
of course no one wants to, but we just have to think before doing things.

sometimes i feel i place myself too often in the shoes of my readers,
well, if there's even any.
you never know when your ascendant happens to check on you.
i mean, people perceive you by any form of communication, verbal, physical etc.
in this case, written form of communciation.
caution shall be taken.

i wonder if my words form solemn,
again, i'm placing myself in your shoes.
lol, g'nite.

again

2010-01-23T01:16:00.002+08:00

again, another week.
it feels all wrong.
i need to go away for awhile, better alone.

i don't want to be the one, only overjoyed, making all the noise.

another week

2010-01-17T12:56:00.002+08:00

another week has gone so quickly.
it's scary how you have been either so happy or depressed,
and time just breezes past.

my last weekend was spent working,
school on tuesday and friday,
wasted wednesday at supperclub.
tuition on monday and thursday.

saturday, yesterday,
cycling, location ECP to changi, and back.
much fun, but my dear yumi left early.
the rest of us had dinner.
i got home and met some more friends for cartel and then old school timbre.

some new songs im lovin:
imma be,
here we go again,
cry me out

back to school, 2010

2010-01-08T23:05:00.004+08:00

had too much fun,
barbeques and parties.
finally had enough,
with a mambo to mark it.
it's the final semester and i'm going to continue studying without distractions.

i should have a boyfriend -
who studies with me,
goes shopping for new term clothes,
enjoy the once in awhile parties,
well, simply being best friends,
enjoying each other's company.
it's something that simple.

i went shopping today.
am happy.
a pair of jeans, three tops, a pair of spectacles.

tomorrow's list:
event till 6pm
Subway for dinner
ice wine to end the day

should be turning in now.
g'nite!

yesterday

2009-12-27T13:48:00.003+08:00

al's party was good.
the invite was practically alcohol, alcohol, alcohol and more.
and people were to be wasted there.
at least we managed to keep him sober and made it to the club
a good night indeed,
but damn,
i think too many unglam pictures were taken.
and now i'm wondering when they'll be tagged on facebook.
sigh, the thing with fb which somehow lets the world know your doings.
rebel night that was, last night.
and i've a sore throat.
alcohol every night is bad.
jager bomb, flaming, blowjob, graveyard, and whatever came / couldn't remember.

going to need a good rest today,
goodnight.

whatcha say

2009-12-26T15:45:00.002+08:00

the problem with having too much fun?
is you get addicted.

23rd dec
my pre christmas eve was fun.
dinner, wii, pool, gift exchange, gossip, loof, supperclub,
and home by 6am.
shit.

24th dec
family dinner - ham, turkey etc.
friend's place for drinks, chips, wii, pool and mosquito bites. zzz.
home by 5am

25th dec
generally a healthy day (no alcohol)
hk cafe, sherlock holmes,
liquid kitchen, singing, star gazing.
home by 5am

26th dec
tonight, is going to be a good night :)

sobby

2009-12-23T01:35:00.003+08:00

right,
no boys.
i met A before my girlfriend.
then i met K after my girlfriend.

it was a fruitless day today. sigh.
i drooled at the chronograph watch i've been wanting.
shit.
i could have bought the clothes from Mango i tried on.
but i knew i was on implulse mode.
moodless day.

my only fruit today?
a hair clip that costs S$3.90.
sigh.

i'm dying soon,
been sighing too much.
have a merry night people!

i like it in a way...

2009-12-22T13:59:00.009+08:00

Father Christmas, have i been a good girl this year?
i have a big sock!

i did say i would be resting on sunday, no?
damn,
'cus things got more complicated.
i hope we didn't screw up each others' lives.

things are getting interesting,
or excitingly complicated, if you agree.
though some were done out of plain stupidity.

damn, some men just don't get hints.
acting stupid, or really have no brains.
must i really tell these monkeys straight in the face?

Monday evening:
Thanks A,
for dinner and dessert.

Tuesday evening:
I'm finally going to have a day off, with my girlfriend.
No boys, just girls.

if only every weekend could be..

2009-12-20T02:53:00.005+08:00

friday night:
dinner at French Stall.
I made do with the yummy traditional creme caramel after the course meal.
After, we grooved to the music at stereolounge,
danced to the music at stereolab.
great music of funk soul jazz,
great people and the superb DJs.
damn good place to be w/o children and irritating crowds in da club.
thanks T, and your amazing friends that spinned.

saturday night:
no parties,
but watched Avatar!
damn good movie, though i think we all had sore butts.
thanks K, and your buddies and girlfriends.

now it's sunday.
perhaps it's time to rest :)

last day at work

2009-12-17T23:59:00.005+08:00

I've had my fair share of the loving spirit this holiday.
Work at eventstation was fun.
The most enjoyable workplace i must say!
Esp with my happy nut!
With my bosses' age ranging from 24 to 28,
they're serious when it comes to work,
but they really know how to have fun like kids.
One treated us to Korean food,
another treated us to Dim Sum buffet at dragon gate.

Time flies when you're having fun!
Although i've been super busy and tired out from after work tuition on two outta five days,
and having an event on two whole weekends,
it's fun altogether.

my girlfriend and i gave the four of them xmas presents today.
i jus love the spirit of giving.
i made a handmade tag for each of them.
happy holidays my bosses - gwen, francesca, tyler, josh
:)

bothersome

2009-11-21T23:42:00.002+08:00

since the path began, i felt like i was in this rut, and it's as terrible as it seems.
but i am beginning to think simpler.
to be bothered with those who bother.
or simply put, i decide whom i want to be bothered with.

i used to try to accomodate,
but now, if things don't work my way,
the cause had jolly well settle its ownself without me lifting a finger.

well, it's easy to tell if one doesn't appreciate you,
and if you're ambitious to change the situation?
mostly, it's a painful process to get that someone to appreciate you.
after one failed attempt, i couldn't be bothered.

along the way,
i guess there is no point in forcing any particular person to appreciate you.
as complicated beings we humans are, people will decide for themselves if they want to appreciate you.

my logic is simple.
i don't bother if you don't.
i'm game.
but i quit when i want to.

my friends fly

2009-11-21T13:36:00.003+08:00

one flew off last night.
another will fly off tomorrow night.
what am i going to do?
they'll only be back in december.

have fun and enjoy my dears.
i'll be stuck in this rut for now.
will be waiting for ya'll to be back.

bring me back a souvenir k!
and we'll have more movies, drinks and parties next month.

if only a runaway...

2009-11-20T01:58:00.003+08:00

sometimes we don't follow what's written in the book,
because it's just the art of how things work?
no rules, but creativity juices,
the gist of things from intuition and first ideas.

but sometimes it may eventually hit on you hard -
with consequences accumulating and nearing each day,
and in which you have to deal with one at a time, in time to come.
you may feel sorry for the causation, but it does have to be fixed.

if only running away could be a tool,
where things fixed themselves things up as we go on a holiday.
but then again, 'if only' are two words too often used,
in crisis or natural disasters, and even in the simplest chores.

like orange juice

2009-11-10T10:53:00.003+08:00

the papers were an utter disappointment this semester,
either the standard rose or i hadn't the motivation to understand thoroughly and apply.
but whatever the case, they're over, and i'm enjoying my holidays now!
although not fully,
because a few of them are still unable to join me in my celebration.

i had a long list of things to want to do after the exams,
some of the most absurb ones like playing a game on fb,
or going to the science centre.
hilarious as it sounds, but during the study period,
you would want so badly to do something else (even wash the toilets) besides staring at the books.

my parents aren't exactly doctors and lawyers,
to an extent i am grateful for.
they never liked studying,
or at least when exams are concerned.

my mom was watching a program on TV one day,
and i was beside her, trying very much to memorize definitions.
then i curiously asked her if she would like to study again,
and a flat NO was what i got in return.

so much for motivating me.

well, if they were a graduate (in their generation),
i'd probably be born with a 'gold' spoon.
today it's different (and it's only a generation apart)
i'd be a graduate hopefully in half a year's time,
with zillions of others.
to snatch parts of the bread, to bring home to my parents.
now, that's not even inclusive of the story of getting married with one kid plus a flat.
and i wonder how bad will my next few generations get.

sometimes life's so unfair,
nowonder people commit suicide (or attempt) without analysing much on consequences,
because the consequence probably wouldn't be as costly as you know what.

we are working harder and harder each year,
and for?
a piece of the loaf of bread.

but still, in the process,
yes, we should be happy, as a right to a human's life.
or at least seek for it.
that's how life should be -
like making orange juice.

you filter the rough fibre,
and enjoy the smooth drink.

finding motivation

2009-10-28T17:41:00.002+08:00

three more papers to go and time is ticking so slowly.
i feel totally wasted this semester.
although i go for my classes, i don't remember what have i really learnt as i start my revision.
i feel i haven't been mixing enough with the good diligent people.
i need to be motivated and challenged.

instead, the 'bad' influnce has all made me challenge my very self not to feel challenged by them.
parties, chill out, supper and drinks.
i'm going insane.
i definitely know what is right for me at this crucial point.
but the friggin external environment is so ________ !

God please let me smoothly go through these ten more days.
guide me to be self-motivated and strong at heart.

i want my holiday

2009-10-17T13:44:00.003+08:00

so much for telling myself to abstain from distractions.

still, i wasn't totally wasted.
i was just tipsy.
i could still control my normal physical and emotional state,
i'm sure i didn't puke on myself nor kissed the floor.
maybe things were just slow.
dammit.

well, it was cassandra's birthday yesterday.
and yeap, that's enough fun for me now.

time to study. man, i hate that word.

see you in november

2009-10-09T10:57:00.002+08:00

numbing gradually...
how should i be feeling?
especially as the clock ticks and tocks,
and i see the date nearing.
i have yet to start studying.

nic says it's never too late to start.
and i say i should stay away from the internet.
i guess i will start full time cramming on MONDAY.
no more fooling around.

i shall indulge in my books and withdraw from technology for awhile now.
hopefully you don't see any post till after 7 Nov (my last paper).
i am off to see my godma now whom i hope will enlighten me.
goodbye.

dear God

2009-10-08T16:14:00.004+08:00

Dear God,

i, janel wong weiying,
need one month,
just one more month,
of motivation and discipline.

travis says i need to get wasted before and after my exams.
before, to understand i must treasure my time and study,
and after, to have post exam fun fun fun.

God, i need a helping hand.
To abstain from alcohol until night of 7 November 2009.
Sigh.

Love,
Your dearest child.

another day

2009-09-30T12:07:00.004+08:00

down to the last group project.
and next i see are the nearing exams.
four papers this semester.
worst semester so far,
cus even though i go for all my classes, write all the notes i could,
i wonder what have i really understood.

still, at least i have had 12 sweet hours of sleep today,
in which i haven't had for the past month or so.
everything has been hectic, topsy turvy.
now i can rest, though i know i have to climb yet another mountain.
sigh.

i just turned only 21 and i feel so helpless in life.
this is happening when the angel and the devil of me, one on my left and the other on my right,
are contradicting each other non-stop.
oh yes, i'm absolutely feeling that way now.
and i wanna smack them into thin air.
and feel NOTHING.
goodness.

i am feeling so cranky and cheesed today.
and i do not have PMS.

man,
i really can't wait till my holidays are here.
and then some part of me feels sad again cus i wont have holidays when i start working.
i envy people who can live their everyday lives to the fullest.

i guess the reason to my emotionless state is that,
i am by nature not a very happy person,
but i also am aware that one should not bury oneself in sorrows.

maybe that's why i look aloof, or unconcerned about things.

say cheers

2009-09-28T11:15:00.003+08:00

and so, i had many surprises on my 21st birthday.
and different cakes!
family, friends, loved ones.

and i have new stuffs as well. hehe.

well, sometimes it's so hard to note down the emotions,
plus i don't wanna sound so cliche.
but thank you to all those who put in the effort to make me feel like i am significant on my day.

i will get hold of my birthday pictures as soon as my girlfriends upload 'em.
in the meantime, lets cheers to being no more a minor.

21 years ago

2009-09-23T18:23:00.002+08:00

I'm twenty one (:
I know time will fly faster from now on.
live strong and to its fullest, janel.

last essay, last day

2009-09-21T10:38:00.004+08:00

sometimes things just really don't go according to plans, do they?
my 21st birthday celebration with my different groups of friends/family
was to be from the 18th to prolly 29 or 30th.

yes, i know. it sounds so exaggerating.
and my mom says i think i'm a hundred years old.
to be celebrating like i'm so extraordinary.

but my real intention?
it is to meet my loved ones on seperate dates,
to really catch up with them face-to-face.
and i get to have a variety of mini celebrations.
the plus point, i get different types of food, environment, etc...

i have a friend, who had her 21st celebration so grand,
i must say it's like a wedding banquet.
man, if my parents were as wealthy,
i would probably have something similar.
but no i'm just a girl next door.

like another friend of mine said,
'it's either i have one really good one, or else i rather don't have one'.
and that i totally agree.

i do things to my best.
if i cannot do it, i rather not do it.
and this is not called giving up or to 'heck care' about things.

i am critical of things, and i'm sure some people find this side of me irritating/absurb,
but they may not know, that i am critical towards myself all the same.
i sometimes feel i require a lot, from others, and from myself as well.

one mistake and i will be f'kin pissed at myself.

like now, i am a lil' pissed i cannot go according to my schedule,
remember i said i was to have fun starting from the 18th?
which means that i was supposed to complete ALL my essays.
but dammit, i stayed at home the past few days, and it will include today,

my plan is to complete this one last essay for this semester, today.
and have fun tomorrow, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday....
yes, until i get tired..
and yeap.. this is how life should be (:

laughing at the world

2009-09-12T01:32:00.004+08:00

i am happy to be alive,
cus i am glad i didn't die in the hands of vanity this morning.
the iron hair straightener exploded in front of my face.
i was traumatized.
the explosion was so loud, i swear i grew deaf that instant.
then i saw a flash of white and orange glow,
i thought i had died.

i soon realised i was still standing in front of the mirror,
wow, alive!
and am i glad i'm still able to laugh at the world today.

then i was off to school...
was damn tired of everything.
but i pushed aside whatever nonsense that i was to tolerate,
and i went crazy, with the five other girls.
sometimes having them around makes me feel that i should be happy no matter what.
i haven't had so much laughter till i almost cried, in such a long while.

i wished certain things had not occured,
but it already did,
and i know i had to laugh it all out before i went insane.
so i let myself go, and to laugh at the entire world.
and to tell satan that i am strong.

thank goodness we had someone like yumi (aka hui ci) around,
to make us feel that life's not so miserable afterall.
with people like her around,
we can all laugh till we cry.
no matter how much we laugh at her,
deep down in my heart, i appreciate so much how happy-go-lucky she is, and her ability tolerate our nonsensical actions.

for so long, it was like the first time we really stayed together as a group for 14 hours straight.
doing projects, digressing, and in the end having supper at mcdonalds.
looking at the laptop screen filled with thousands of words, we felt so depressed and stressed up.
until we were over-tired, we went a little crazy.
and started to laugh at the tiniest things in life.
yumi added on with her nonsensical jokes.
joycey ate so much, i wonder if she even felt full.
shi ting kept falling asleep,
chin leng's 'mao mao cong' kept us awake a lil' bit.
mabia's gigglin made us laughed non stop.

aw man, sometimes i gotta say
i just love my friends.

p.s. tomorrow is the release of one of our assignment results. sit tight everyone.

players

2009-09-09T18:46:00.002+08:00

dex, koh, nic, loozie and i went to players yesterday.
it's a fun place to be.
with beer pong.
i wondered what game that was and i soon realised.
we attempted the game, and...
i really sucked at it and i guess loozie and i spent more time picking up the ping pong balls than winning each other at the game. lol.
it's like a settlers or minds cafe, but with alcohol and dice games and beer pong night on tuesdays.

it's like a family there, and people know each other like forever.
it's a cosy place to have fun with friends.
the toilets are clean too.
and this is important. haha.

even though i lacked sleep and was packed the entire day,
it was all worth the games and fun.
but now...
its time for reality again - the first priority - school work.

time

2009-09-05T00:06:00.003+08:00

it was a rough week, yes.
and it's not going to get any better with all the projects.
but i'm taking it easy.
going with the flow and to try to time manage properly with patience.

i caught a relatively dumb movie on wed with my ol' friends.
year one.
and so, even if it was just the few of us, we had different opinions.
one fell asleep, one enjoyed the movie, and the rest of us felt it was oh so lame.

and the rest of my week was in solemn.

i so cannot wait for my birthday, because i will be lifted off the burden of about 3 major assignments.
and i can RELAX full time.
i know i'm repeating these boring stuffs, like it's inevitably a phase most of us go through.
projects, exams, assignments, etc...
but it's only when you are the one who's in the phase itself,
you feel so heavy.
cus it's no more the case of free-riding.

the few of us were chatting the past few days,
and we thought of taking a masters in a few years time together.
i wonder if my priorities will change by then.

my first post in this blog happened when i was barely 16.
who would have thought i would be an undergrad at this point in time.
and now i am turning 21 in prolly three weeks time.
this crazy speed of time really doesn't slow down for anyone of us, does it?
it's been more than 5 years and it's scary.

still, i cannot say i feel old.
because people like my mom will probably be ancient.
i still feel young actually, and we all should, especially at heart.

maybe it's no big a deal

2009-09-03T12:03:00.003+08:00

some good things stay in my heart forever.
but some others hurt my heart forever.
but i always choose to forget most things,
that i feel should not affect my life today and in future.

whatever happens,
i will not let things affect my priorities in life.
now, its my studies for just one more year.
although i did have no will to do anything yesterday,
i overcame that sore feeling, it's like even if no one is there for you,
you have to be there for yourself.

p.s. wonder where my boyfriend is bringing me for my birthday dinner.
p.p.s. i'll celebrate my birthday with some good ol' friends on the public holiday.

i want to work

2009-09-01T12:26:00.000+08:00

as the title says it all.

i am tired of reports and essays,
i know i'm going to rather do these when i really step into world of the hectic.

but right now,
at this point in time, perhaps i would like to get out there to the corporate world.
and face the worst and test my ability to adapt to whatever is in for me,
good or bad.

i am venting for no reason.
dammit,
women...
sometimes we are never rational.

men

2009-08-31T20:46:00.001+08:00

it sucks when my character is questioned.
or maybe i feel that it is so.
i don't take initiatives.
right, so am i wrong?
or is it because of their character that wants me to do so?

%&#!(*)!@&@!

i am me.
i am janel.
why do you question my ability when i have put in the effort to communicate,
but you feel i have put in the least,
or perhaps none.

i so f'kin hate it when i cannot flare up,
because he will flare up because i flared up.

i say i can count to one,
and you say you can count to ten if i tried to count to one.

i must stay calm and rational and cannot start stabbing a voodoo doll,
if i do so, i will be shouted at, and accused of being irrational.
i feel the anger, but i am in no position to be so,
because he will be angry because i am angry.

men.
they never understand, do they?
or maybe only i, understand myself.

the fun times

2009-08-31T16:38:00.001+08:00

i had so much fun that i cannot sit still and start on my school work today.
i wish i could just have fun everyday.
gawd, i sound like a small girl.
though i lost my voice on saturday night,
i loved everyone's presence, and it made me feel like there are some friends who are forever.
even those who really changed.
but most of us never change, in terms of character and 'loudness'.
thanks to technology like facebook, msn messenger and mobile phones,
we never will regret that we lose contact with our dear classmates.
every single on of us, regardless of how much or how little we've changed,
still make a part to this wonderful class.
thanks to the organiser (jiaji) and each and everyone of you who made the effort to come.

louisa, jiaying, fangwei, jia xing, clorine, cassandra, yangthong, dexter, ming herng, jing wee, zhiliang, simon, leon, daniel, vincent, nicholas, jonathan, kenneth, wei jie, wei cheng.

for the rest that missed it and really wanted to come, we will meet again :)

cheers to a decade of friendship.
love ya'll to bits.

holiday to cure my lethargy

2009-08-26T16:03:00.000+08:00

my favourite weather - rain (:

i fell sick yesterday, with a sudden fever, sore throat, headache and body ache.
no signs of low immune system like runny nose or whatsoever before yesterday.
perhaps too exhausted from rushing everything, and getting all fired up at dumb people.
i need to pace myself slow, disregard things/people that/who are insignificant in my life.

i feel like my brain is growing out of my entire head.
thumping away like nobody's business.
this headache's not helping.
i need a holiday again.
to get away from all these stuffs.

perhaps the cheapest holiday one can get is to switch off all electronic devices and be free from contact with the rest of the world. way cheaper than an 8bucks air ticket right?

i should try this often.

okay, i need to rest.
goodnight!

the lil' things

2009-08-06T22:16:00.000+08:00

the little things i appreciate in life:

1. milk & cereal in the mornings
2. baking muffins and cookies
3. making bubbles out of soap
4. bumping into many nice friends in a day
5. the colors of the sky at different times of the day
6. laughing hysterically with my wonderful friends
7. fancy gem biscuits
8. smiling at old neoprints

the list goes on (:

these few days

2009-08-05T14:44:00.000+08:00

a little burden lifted off,
but it will be back again.

i take a deep breath and carry on,
before i really go insane.

i had to write a 4.5k essay,
and i accomplished it alright,

the thing was dued yesterday,
and now there's definitely more.

no point struggling in the end,
when you were told wad to expect the first day.

so buck up people and stop day dreaming,
cus i ain't entertaining those who ask 'what's goin on'

bad ride

2009-07-28T14:13:00.000+08:00

it's my 5th year studying in the clementi area.
fortunately for me, i have a direct public bus to school.

but dammit,
recently i seriously wanna puke or pass out.
either because of the way the unskilled drivers drives,
or the sardine packed bus,
or it's just me.

i want a chauffeur!
i want no traffic jams!
argh...

can i just teleport to school?

the greener pasture

2009-07-27T13:26:00.005+08:00

nothing beats being home on a rainy day.
but i have to do this freakin 4 thousand over words strategic management essay.
i have been on the ball for the past year, getting distinctions in school,
but this year,
i'm tired,
damn sick and tired of the damn cycle of assignments, tests and exams.
and dammit i'm only half way there.
it's not like i'm lookin forward to the corporate world either,
because it's all goin' to be a messed up world.

i know, i know, i'm just too pessimistic.
and i need to know what i want in life.
we all can choose to be happy or unhappy.
but i choose to be somewhat in the middle.
when i feel happy, i won't want to fall and hit myself in the face when i realise i either cannot accomplish the mission, or that someone disappoints me.
and so people say i look aloof,
or upset about my life.

man, i feel for those who are constantly happy in their lives,
even when they have no idea when they'll part.
i must say i envy them,
but i cannot feel like them.
i admire happy people, but i mean, i'm just not one of them.

these few days i feel nostalgic,
and i happened to hear some songs that we all heard in our secondary school days.
i'm sure you have certain songs that relate to particular moments of your lives.
and when these songs are played,
you automatically play back whatever memories you had, good or bad, in your mind.

i used to like pain, where i'd get a pierceing or two every few months.
then i wanted to get a tattoo, to immense myself with somemore pain,
but then situations forbid me to do so,
when people talk, when people probe, when people interrogated.
as time went by, i forgot...

forgot how that sorta pain felt like before.
all i know is that i enjoyed
the thrill, and the excitement, and the process of healing my skin and wounds.
and i just wonder,
is life all about being conservative and traditional, to listen to what people say?
is sacrificing one's time, money, and life for others, worth it??

for i desire to roam,
to be free from the people i have to please,
to be free from the pressure from family, community, and society.

how great it is to be free,

for a girl with a temper, stubborness and selfishness,
i can probably get along with myself most peacefully.

i really do wonder is my changed lifestyle for the better?

really no more late nights like we all used to:
party, pool, billiard and kbox every other day.
hanging around town in the wee mornings or just the nearby blocks,
playing fire, talking rubbish, drinking, playing cards.

it was those fun times and those fun people.
we didn't go home and we roamed in the streets,
we stayed at whoever's hse was nearby or available.
we ordered mac delivery when we were hungry.
we were all single.
we were all free.

we went to chalets that were filled with smoke,
with 'elder sisters' who were twentyish, when we were then only fifteen or sixteen.
we envied the biker boys, and their tattoos.

i got home almost every other night,
with my parents screaming the hell at me, and others ridiculing my life.
they said i needed theraphy.
yes, this was my life, if you find it sad.

now, all these are a blur,
and everything has changed,
with no complex situations - only school assignments awaiting me.

i sigh at my life.
it used to be chaotic and now?
of course i will never go back to how i was, but a part of me missed the old me.
for i now have a relatively lacklustre life.

my phone

2009-07-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

voila,
i have a new handphone.
a red E63.
it's from my boyfriend.
he got a black one.

i'm happy to have this phone & i love it.
but i'm wondering how happy do we get from all the material things in life.

i'm someone who finds it HARD, real HARD, to say nice words to people, or just give them a hug.
i can only write, make things, buy things, to let them know how much i appreciate them.

these days

2009-07-19T13:22:00.003+08:00

he has a high fever and he's resting at home.
get well soon my dear.

i'm currently munching on lays.
not quite appropriate.

anyway, i'm going to cancel whatever birthday plans that had crossed the back of my mind.
even inviting just about ten close friends would have to cost me no less than 200 bucks.
i mean, i cannot possibly have hotdogs and fake crabmeat for my birthday.
so i would use that money to pamper myself with a good manicure and get a new phone.
doesn't this sounds more appealing than probably tiring and frustrating myself with a celebration consisting of people who feel lost at my party, and perhaps constantly smiling funnily at the camera man.

okay, i'm never ahead of technology,
so i don't get the latest phones like many do.
damn, even primary school kids have the latest iPhone.
but nevermind, for
i cannot bring myself to spend that sorta money on a phone which has does same ol' functions like sms-ing and dialing.
okay, maybe more functions i may not know of,
perhaps going on facebook and twitter.
or scarily tracking each other using a blackberry.
man, are we spending too much time with our phones?
is technology making all of us less ethical?

maybe i am still traditional,
and i would really prefer being away from the tech stuffs.

okay, i guess i like being around nature,
but it strictly does not include insects, reptiles or amphibians.
just the flowers and trees.

anyway, although i consider myself a noob in technology,
i figured out how to take good pictures of my fishes,
which i thought required a super good camera and superb photography skills.

see, in this photo, my camera setting is at auto without flash.

but with some adjustments of the speed shutter thingy plus flash,
here's a so much better picture.

and remember that these fries are swimming fast.
it's not as if they will stop and pose for you.

not so realistic wants

2009-07-13T20:47:00.002+08:00

and for my not so realistic wants:

a blackberry

a DSLR

a gucci watch

a chanel necklace

and the list goes on forever...

haha

my wants

2009-07-11T23:14:00.002+08:00

i want realistically:

a red nokia N63

a red canon digital ixus 100 IS

a goldish brown watch

a perfect lasik operation

time mismanagement

2009-07-10T15:41:00.003+08:00

sometimes it's not really about not being able to prioritise our work,
but the time God gives us on earth sometimes just isn't enough.
or should i put it in the way that we just simply have to sacrifice some things in our lives.
especially women.

we cannot meet all our friends and catch up with all of them,
especially when time and schedules are the ones to be blamed,
or even possibly because we cannot split ourselves into two,
to be at two different places at the same time.
of course that's chaotic and we're digressing.

so, when one stops joining outings or simply stops being part of group,
either because of clashes of schedules or whatsoever causes,
it's indeed sad to say that the role you play in that group of friends has disappeared.
and as we get older,
we either become more cynical or realistic,
that friends are just 'a name',
and perhaps certain people are not worth being friends with.

i can list down the close friends in which i can count with my two hands,
whom i can talk to, and have the same frequency as i.
and you may even have more you can count with your feet.

and i have probably the same amount of friends in which i'm quite sure we could be close friends, but we probably do not have the fate to be so.

and then, i probably have three times more friends whom i say hi and bye to.

oh, and even more people (notice i didn't say friends) whom i know who they are, and they probably know who i am, and just either stare or pretend to not know that the other person's there (either trying to remember what his/her name, or is your boyfriend's or girlfriend's ex, or simply can't be bothered to acknowledge the person's presence, or you're simply in a foul mood). of course the list goes on.

i must admit i am sometimes guilty of this,
and you should too.

oh man

2009-07-02T10:53:00.002+08:00

so fast and it's July.
i'm starting class later at 2pm.
sigh.

i haven't been taking a proper break,
i work part time here, tuition there,
meet friends every week,
i'm tired.

and school's going to make things more hectic.

the next time i can afford to totally relax would be in mid november,
where once again, the holidays come.
then i'll be waiting for the last semester,
and this time next year,
i'll be workin.

this sounds amusing,
and i don't know why.

maybe because i know that i'll hate working life,
to hate waking up in the mornings,
and getting home when the sun starts setting,
and waiting for the next morning,
in which the rountine repeats.
dammit.
i can somewhat see my future.

but right now,
i'm still in school,
and that, i'm gonna appreciate it for one more year.

my fishes

2009-06-19T11:42:00.004+08:00

to anyone who appreciates fishes -- as pets.
and shrimps -- as pets too.

just don't try to tell me to bbq them or make shrimp paste or whatever,
cus it's not funny.

anyway, here's my latest 1.5 ft planted tank,
which needs more time to mature, especially the foreground.

and here's about sixty over fries

i spend the start of my day water changing,

and feeding the hungry guppies.

but the not so good thing about keeping guppies is that if you want to keep the genes going and not inbreed, you gotta seperate the mama fish, to prevent her from eating her babies, and when they grow bigger and are ready to mate, you gotta seperate them again,

to prevent them from mating with their sisters and brothers (inbreeding).
then introduce those that are not within to breed.

guppies are beautiful, those that are worth keeping of course,

not those they sell outside for one buck a piece,

but they sure are a hassle.
especially male ones, which 'expire' really quickly,

cus they get older faster and have no energy to chase the females.

also, they are more sensitive to changes in the environment.

i used to keep my albino guppies in a bare tank, and they were fine.

but a week after i introduced them into the planted tank,
the males started to have clamped fins and tails,

like not fanned out like before, if you get what i mean.

then about two of them still have fin rot.

it's because the water condition is so bad in a planted tank, which holds much bacteria,

as compared to a bare tank.

sometimes my fishes piss me off when they're not doing okay,
like when they're not adaptive to the environment and are super stressed,

or that my tank looks like its infected with too many pesky snails,
or my tank starts to grow all sorts of algae.

alright, at least i have a hobby which doesn't involve major shopping,

or other stuff which aren't healthy.

bad pizza, bad

2009-06-16T11:32:00.002+08:00

it's uncommon that my family orders delivery,
but yesterday we did, and we had pizza.
first it didn't come pipping hot,
and second, the freaking pizza was pretty difficult to swallow.
the flour was bad, and i mean BAD.
it tasted like dozen times reheated pizza. BLEAH.
i swear i'd never order pizza for a long time, yes a very long time.
or at least, not from them again.

i've been keeping myself busy before school reopens,
before the dued assignments pile up again,
meeting up with friends and attending birthday parties.
just roughly 3 more months and it's going to be my 21st birthday.

i've probably seen enough of disorganised 21st parties,
and that's perhaps why i'm so not into having one for myself.
still, there's a handful who regret not having one, thinking since you only turn 21 once in this lifetime. but that's no excuse 'cus everyone turns 1,2,3,10,20 ONCE in a lifetime too.
i'm probably not one who regrets my decisions in life,
and that would include not celebrating my 21st, which is one trival matter .

i can appreaciate if you have tons of friends and money to invite invite,
and i would gladly help out.
but if you're talking about me organising my own?
perhaps if i'm rich enough to get someone else to organise my event,
maybe like dr. georgia lee's.
okay, that's too much of an aspiration.

i'd be glad enough to be able to turn 21,
for i'm not someone who enjoys parties.
i mean, think about it.
some others would be rejoicing if they were given another day to live.
i thank God that i'm fit as a fiddle, to live each day to its best.
not to grant me some kinda awesome party.

my kind of unforgettable birthday would probably be one that i achieve something.
something that does not include making my friends sit around mingling around in tiny cliques.
something not so paiseh, because when you invite people, they gotta give you hong baos and presents.
i'll spare my family and friends!

as for that something i mentioned?
we'll see (:

my holiday

2009-06-02T23:16:00.002+08:00

getting my exam results on thursday and i'm feeling neutral,
just need to check on that critical module that i pray i pass.

anyway,
we went to bangkok in mid may and it was fantabulously fun.
the tuk tuk is so exciting,
and the best thing about going on a holiday?
you get to be away, AWAY from all the nonsensical people.
and the stupid beeping of the mobile phone.
i can so live without a mobile!!

but this era gives you no excuse to be without a mobile, or simply put, you cannot be non contactable.
thanks to someone's mighty invention.

well, being on a holiday at least gives me an excuse to be 'out of the office'.
i'm like physically out of singapore, and i have no need to contact with you.

now i truly understand why people would leave everything behind and pursue things they love.
if i cannot adapt in a crazy society as deemed by me,
i might as well find some place in which i can fit into and the people around very much understand my way of dealing with things.

right, back to bangkok.

my favourite seats are the ones just beside the window,
where i get to see my hometown getting tiny,
the gorgeous skies,
and then zooming into an amazing foreign country.
let's have the pictures say it all.

nuff said,
goodnight!

time at home

2009-04-30T13:23:00.002+08:00

dread the days before exams.
staying at home is no fun.
but here i analysed...

to score a distinction for org. theory, i need to get 43/50 for the exams.
to score a high distinction for leadership & management, i need to get 43/50 for the exams.

org. theory is a funny subject. you will barely pass based on your memorization.
have to apply, imply, synthesize.

help me...

shall pray together.

now...

2009-04-24T13:05:00.003+08:00

i'm currently...
1. fretting bout the coming exams
2. having clammy hands thinkin' bout next tues - my first paper!
3. looking forward to my 14-18 may bangkok trip
4. caring for my 35 fries (baby guppies)
5. hoping that ALL will go as smooth as milk shake

working on the path

2009-03-22T14:20:00.003+08:00

just in general,

i think many things that people do are relatively stupid.
not saying i'm very clever, but please do things logically.

i think some questions people ask are stupid too,
not saying i'm clever again,
but please think before you ask.

it's not like you're a 3 year old kid tat's still learning right from wrong.
you'll look like you're trying to test my intelligence,
at the same time insulting your own.

sincerely appreciate that.

anyway, some stupid people from school do stupid things.

one fine day, i felt like i'm was in the stupidest situation ever.
i got a stupid fever doing the stupid work,
and i wonder if i would ever be stupid again.
it's all the stupid people's fault.

oh well, the work has passed,
but my body is still feeling weird.
aches and fever, on and off.

hmm,
a lecturer was talking about something interesting the other day.
this degree we're taking gives us the opportunity to start at the managerial post.
a diploma, an executive post.
and he says we have to see what we're doing in 10 years time, a director?

now that's a fantabulous aspiration of mine (:
don't say i aint having goals in my life anymore.
i know what i'm doing.
i hate people who say i have no life.
so just fuck off and fix your own bloody life.

okay,
and so, i may see myself happily married with two kids,
and in the meantime managing my career and family relatively well.
before i'm 35, i'll be director of some company.
now now, this is no dream.
and sheesh, don't even try to be critical.
or i'll smack your mouth.

anyway, he also said taking a masters is gonna be PAIN,
and he knows taking a bachelor's degree is painful enough.
well yea, but we'll forget about the pain soon enough. i mean it's worth it.

next year i'll be joining the corporate world,
work five to 6 years, perhaps dropping the idea of joining SIA,
cus service probably ain't my thing.
join some booming industry before the banking industry comes back.

one thing so bad about being a female is that the youth time is freaking short.
okay, unless you're born with a silver spoon.
you've gotta work and earn the money for a bachelor and masters,
you gotta get married and give birth,
and bloody hell, you gotta raise the kid your whole life,
now that needs money-again.
you probably can't be a proper career woman with all that family thing going on.
you might have to give up your booming career 'cus of your kids? man...
now where do you get the money?
take up some stupid part time job - sigh?

when your kid's in university,
you're job's probably more unstable due to your old age.
damn,
alright, unless you're doing your own business,
and you succeed, which is typically otherwise,
not trying to be cynical.

the above probably doesn't apply if you are married to a prince/datuk.

this is crazy.
so, the moral of the story?
life is short.
stop fooling around.
and stop dreaming about marrying a rich man.
if you really do,
rejoice.
if not, just live your damn life properly.

the IT show

2009-03-14T22:56:00.002+08:00

we've got new toshiba laptops.
i'm so glad.
for the damn good price and relatively good specs, yay!
plus the graphic card's good (:
perhaps can try playing l4d.

but my feet are really aching.
and people don't look like they're in some kinda recession lately.
it looked like the entire singapore was in suntec city today.

so we got freebies too.
two free canon printers, two 4gb thumdrives, two 160gb hard disks, two optical mouse, free 2nd year warranty, free ram upgrade and other misc stuff.

suddenly you see 4gb thumbdrives as free gifts.
when in the past they had to cost you probably about a hundred each.
it's crazy how technology advances.

now you see 10 megapixel cameras everywhere,
and 8.1 megapixel cameras are just being sold at a hundred over.
just last year, they cost about four times more.
madness.

just some sweet things

2009-02-26T22:53:00.004+08:00

just some sweet pictures

breakfast i made for dearie on vday.

a little rabbit,
with a LED heart he made himself (but no pic).

keychain he got for me for our anniversary

gem biscuits to munch on while studying for a terrible test
i guess many of us ate the bottom biscuit parts first before enjoying the sweet colourul parts during our younger days

lucky ride

2009-02-21T15:23:00.004+08:00

funny that i walked to the bus stop yesterday,
and realized i had forgotten to bring along my ez-link card.
i hadn't any spare change too.
so i decided to change a 2 dollar note with a lady beside me,
she hadn't any small change, just two 1 dollar coins.
i had 30 cents, but my trip to school required a dollar sixty.

immediately, my bus came and i was prepared to place two 1 dollar coins into the coin slot.
i got up the bus and interestingly, the bus captain signaled that i need not pay for the ride.
i got myself a seat and noticed that both the machines that passengers tapped their ez-link cards were faulty.
i guess it made sense that i need not pay likewise!
so everyone on the bus got a free ride!

to cull the crap

2009-01-16T23:13:00.003+08:00

95% of my friends shall be culled
i believe so - so truly

sometimes ppl around me act like FCKIN' crap,
i wanna make their noses bleed.

or worse, some people act around me like FCKIN' 'good' crap
and behind me like their own SHYT.

they jolly well get their own life and character workin before they judge others,
and pick someone worth perhaps the size of their own dried up poop.
or else i'm gonna turn nasty, scar their cocky faces and make their organs bleed.

fullstop. enough energy wasted on such ARSEHOLES.

so school has started, and work's piling so fast,
i feel like i'm balancing on a damn thin wire.
dammit.

everything jus doesn't seem and feel quite right this year.
bad hair days, zits, flabs, the damned people.

2009

2009-01-03T15:15:00.002+08:00

Happy 2009 everyone.

i want great music and singers,
colors and crafts of all kinds,
happy-go-lucky people,
and yummy sweet-smelling pastries,
to revolve around my life.

that's gotta perfect.

but nothing's exactly perfect.

i've no new year resolutions.
the next year will be here in no time.
let's all go with the flow, people (:

the other time i watched 罗志祥's show.
he and his funny ideas,
i like.
(:

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T13:45:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone.

I went on a short trip to KL with my family early this month.
I love travelling,
but with my family, it's somehow, strangely, boring.
But with friends who share the same interests, be it shopping or sight-seeing, it's an entirely different thing.

Perhaps when we were all younger,
the things that made us enjoy our holidays, were just a playground or the toys section.

But as we grow older, things get more practical.
I see it as part of life, in which all of us go through.

Neither do I enjoy this process,
Nor have any great thoughts about it.

We just grow up and seek different things at different stages of our lives.

Anyway, I got two jobs, one temporary, the other permanent.
Administrative work, and tutoring.
It's been more than a month.
and I enjoy the flexibility of these 2 jobs.

I attended Hannah & Adrian's Wedding dinner on the 19th.
Hannah is Nevin's elder sister.
We haven't gotten the other pictures but here's a pic of Nev and I that day.

I have never worn an evening gown for a prom or a grand dinner.
And neither did I, on their wedding day!
It was a comfortable cotton dress I got from John Little which Nev bought for me.

So, 3 reasons why we bought it off the rack in less than 5 minutes after i tried it on?
1. Super inexpensive (I wanted to get more with different prints!)
2. Super comfortable
3. Superb for any occassion

I never exactly see the need to get an expensive dress just for any night.
Unless it's my wedding - of course I would need a wedding gown.
I love to see these beautiful dresses, and trying them wouldn't be of any harm either.
LOL.
But buying them? I wouldn't bear doing so.

Evening dresses are quite well known to be worn once and only once.
But that Little Black Dress is another story.

spaghetti

2008-11-18T20:42:00.002+08:00

last wednesday i made dinner for nev!

in the spaghetti sauce, there were sausages, carrots, chicken, brocolli, onions.
yum yum.

FOOD

2008-11-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

the day after exams, i had a superb buffet dinner with my family
grandparents, auntie winnie, uncle simon, two cousins, my parents and my sis.
at Crowne Plaza Hotel, Azur, in Terminal 3
there were raw food, lots - oysters, clam, sashimi etc.

pictures!

2008-11-09T13:31:00.005+08:00

anyway,
here are some beautiful pictures.

my 20th birthday in september

nev's 21st birthday in october.

thank you my dear!

i didn't really made a blast for his birthday,
for it was during my exams.
i was so guilty, and i'll make up for it now!

more surprises to come!

done with exams!

2008-11-09T12:36:00.002+08:00

FINALLY,
the horrible exams are over.

my last paper was 'History of Management Thought'
of all parts of business, we had to study its history.
this is madness.

still, one can't possibly stay home all day with our heads in the books,
so my sis and i made crepes the day before my last paper.

yum.

anyway exams are over, and results will be out on the 4th of next month.
if i do well, i'll enjoy my trip to KL.
if i don't, i'll still enjoy my holiday.
right.

and so after my exams,
i was so drained mentally that the mind was 101% block.

even my brain was freezed,
i knew i was happy.
for i had a fanta-bulous post exam relaxation period.

enough sleep, good food, etc!
more things to do:
sentosa, good food, read a book, christmas cards etc!

more to my mini collection

2008-10-14T14:55:00.002+08:00

as promised, here are somemore pictures of my lil' toys.

tze chi bought me these 3 boxes!

which contains:

i like opening the boxes and finding out which surprise would i get (:

and my other classmates got me these:

and lastly,

i like these small lil' cups...
we'll let the following pictures tell you so...

hmm

2008-10-10T18:07:00.002+08:00

exams...
scratches head.

but then again...
when you realize you're stepping into the corporate world in just less than 2 years,
you treasure your time in uni,
study for all you can,
for you'll never escape from slogging for the rest of your life.

ah, long time no exercise,
felt like a huge rock on the threadmill.
dammit.
exams in 13 days.
again dammit.

will leave exercise regime to post exams period.

can't wait till then,
cus christmas is coming, again.
omg.
shit, i've got a '2' in front of my age.
i'm twenty.
one more round of twenty,
and i'm forty - wtf.

nevermind about that now,
it's not time to talk about such cynic issues.

ah, christmas' my favourite festival all time.

shrimps!

2008-10-05T15:29:00.004+08:00

here's some pictures of my new shrimp hobby.

i bought five sakura shrimps for $8 last saturday at clementi,
even though i hadn't had my tank done up, i had to get them because 3 were berried (pregnant)!

i did up my planted tank with great help from nev,
we placed the gravel,
tied on moss onto the mesh,
made a moss wall,
and i took water from his tank to fill half of mine so i need not cycle my tank for a month (bloody long)
but i filtered the water and added anti-chlorine
for a couple of days, the shrimps stayed in a plastic container.

just a few days ago, i slowly let my shrimps into their new home.
they like to hide.

especially behind the moss wall!

also, i got a good picture of one heavily berried shrimp!
see the huge yellowish belly?
the yellow stuffs are the eggs,
and when you see the eyes appear in the eggs,
they are about the hatch in just a few days!

if you didn't know what a shrimplet looks like, here it is -
can you spot it?

there are many of them, but they hide.
a few weeks later, we'll see them grow up!

my cute lil' things

2008-10-05T14:31:00.003+08:00

i was thinking if my constant complaints about my boring life was really that factual.
and so i went down in depth, on the list of things i had been doing the past few weeks,

unfortunately, most hobbies require money,
like mine, but it's well spent and at least i'm HAPPY.

here are some of my favourite things:

i've got more!
and my classmates got me another four sets too.

they are inedible fyi,
and they are small, this small -

i got small disply sets, which i contentedly saw at Diaso recently (:

me, a victim of 'IT'

2008-10-05T13:59:00.006+08:00

i already feel old turning a damn twenty.

everyone knows there is no longer a 'teen' in your age, like duh.
but anyone older than you will complain that you are f'kin young.

another thing is that i can't help but already feel victimized by technology.
i'm still in friendster when everyone has turned to facebook.
man, why is facebook better?

besides that,
i just cannot bring myself to learn how to properly add some music to my blog or friendster, okay, facebook is just, i dunno, too modern?

right, and with the latest handphone models,
how do people keep up with them?
frankly, i do not know what's my current handphone model.
but at least i know it's a sony ericsson.

thridly, i am hoping my laptop can last me at least one more year.
don't you hate it when things spoil when you are broke,
okay, if you've your parents paying, that's another story.

sometimes i'll think, 'dammit, why are some people so rich'
they never have the same clothes worn twice,
they get the latest gadgets always,
they see Topshop as an affordable place to shop - man, it's so unfair, Topshop ain't that affordable to me.
blah blah blah.

i guess it goes down to telling oneself to be content.
i mean, at least the only purpose of me needing a handphone is to call and text people.
i'll probably get 'lost' if you hand me an iphone.

23 SEPTEMBER 2008

2008-09-24T12:50:00.004+08:00

an unforgettable day.

he super duper surprised me with my present and bakerzin strawberry cheese birthday cake
and sang me a birthday song when the clock struck 23sept2008!

a beautiful anklet!

we met again in the afternoon and we went to town.
and so we walked and shopped around!

we got some donuts and other stuffs to snack on before dinner.

then almost evening,
he said it was time to go nearer to the particular place he intended to bring me to.
we went down to city hall area.
well, i continued to shop around. hehe
and
he bought me a pair of earrings (:

finally, i was thinking if he would be bringing me to the esplanade,
and he really did!
he led me to out dinner place,
and we were eating at Ichiban Boshi!
OMG, my fav - Japanese food

california roll

soft shell crab

dearie's salmon bowl (me don't eat raw fish)

my katsu don w/o onions - heaven (:

another heavenly side dish - asparagus in bacon, and wings!
the terriyaki sauce is superb! plus the lemon juice flowing over the wings.

what's a dinner w/o dessert?
ah, this is delicious. matcha and azuki together - a perfect match!

after a damn happy, yummy and filling dinner,
we went to the roof terrace for a stroll!
and then back to city link mall for more shopping.

he got me some clothes.
a printed dress and a green top.

thanks for everything my dear.
i had a wonderful time and i appreciate all the lovely surprises you gave me!
HUGS!

monday's dinner

2008-09-22T22:11:00.001+08:00

din tai fung dinner with yunyu!
we haven't seen each other in a few months and we were kinda lost as to where to start!
LOL

pictures are with her,
but i took these!

plus a dinner treat.
thanks girl, love 'em all (:

happy

2008-09-21T12:05:00.004+08:00

now here's a few good things on the go:
(1) down to my last assignment at school!
(2) beginning to have money to save
(3) my birthday is comin' up on tuesday

i hear i'm going to be in for a lovely surprise from my boyfriend.

hugs (:

dinner at holland v

2008-09-19T23:31:00.001+08:00

i went out for dinner with linda and sab today at holland village,
and i got my first two birthday presents (:

although i'm still reovering from my cold and eating soup noodles,
i'm happy (:
we had haagen-dazs after that, man - not cheap.
anyway,
it's gonna be sab's birthday soon too!

chalet

2008-09-15T16:46:00.003+08:00

i'm left with an essay due thursday
and a group assignment due in two weeks.
after that i've got a few weeks of break before my exams.
and following that, it's the holidays!
okay, maybe that's still far away.

so i'm guessing what's in for my birthday.
but first i must get rid of the damn sore throat and ulcer.
i just got back from a chalet yesterday and we were all TIRED from sleepless nights.
when the sun rises, you then go to bed,
but sleeping barely a few hours, you wake up and start to play again.

the health deteriorates, i sometimes wonder if it's worth it.
lol. but it's nice to once in a while,
get away from school assignments and home.
have your own kind of relaxing fun.

party till you faint - literally

2008-09-11T14:19:00.003+08:00

man, the coming friday to sunday's - a long awaited chalet.
i finally have some fresh air.

last week was a struggle, contemplating on saturday's bash at zouk.
for someone who doesn't go wild on the dancefloor nor enjoy loud trance,
i went ahead, just for a few great friends.

my opinion - not so fun.
i collapsed.
weird it may sound but it feels quite good to be away from reality.

i start seeing black spots blocking my vision,
i feel a blockage in my ears.
my mind goes off.
i collapse.
i see nothing, but i hear people talking around me,
most telling me to stay calm.
in fact, i am most calm at this state.

then when i feel my nervous system seriously cannot react any longer,
i fall into an extremely deep sleep which seemingly lasts for a LONG time.
i dream of something, some place very calm and quiet
it feels good.
but when i awake from a strange jolt,
i realise my 'dream' lasts only a few seconds.

people continue their speeches from where i last heard.
my fingers and feet go numb after i feel i have been put on a horizontal lying position.
i have no strength to talk nor move.
but i slowly regain my strength.

no doctor so far i've seen has told me i have any medical condition.
hospitals conducted a heart test,
blood count.
all normal.

sometimes i wonder if no result is good result.
but the fainting spells just keep coming.
how?

anyway,
cynical as it may sound but it's when you fall,
you realise who are the good and caring people around you.

from the left:
the good ol' johnny whose groovy specs i made him lose, sorry. hehe.
chowken the great dancer + strong man who carried me to the resting area,
mabia who is pretty good at the guessing number game,
silvia whom i taught the sparkle trick and the one who let me rest on her lap,
that's me next,
and joycey who has always been there for me since day one. hugs!
then there's ariffin who's my good smokin' buddy and the one who bought me 2 hotdogs after i blacked out.
and lastly it's lee peng in the middle, the one who always dresses in her fashionable style,
and whose boyfriend fetched me home that day.

thanks ya'll (:

what's next?

2008-08-30T13:23:00.005+08:00

It's a good day today,
no one's going to be at home
a break from everyone.

Let me do some thinkin'

I must/shall/want to/need to:

1. Do something to my hair
2. Buy 'wearable' clothes
3. A good ol' sling bag
4. A good full body spa & massage
5. Go for a relaxing holiday
6. Earn money (for all of the above requires $ - damn)
7. Bake some muffins and cookies
8. Live alone (this will take some time and tolerance)

That's all for now, i guess.

Besides school work,
Gag!

My mood is as crazy as the weather these days.

It's a good saturday anyway.
Ta!

tiring

2008-08-27T17:55:00.005+08:00

been so tired recently,
i'm needing a break asap.
physically, mentally, emotionally.

somehow i've been observing what comes out of people's mouths.

in conclusion,
i don't like people who feel they are rich and wants the entire world to feel inferior.
crappy beings, so not humble.

life has got to be so much more than meeting such people.
oh well.
i'd like to getaway to some sunny island,
to lie in the sand,
drink an apple martini.

when i think of a getaway to such places,
i guess it's not somewhere i would go with my family or a big group of friends.

it's really difficult to enjoy things at my rate,
for i really need and want peace, just more PEACE.

family = naggings, disagreements, blah blah. list goes on.
big group of friends = differences in interest, hard to handle, etc.

boyfriend and i?
just talk while basking under the warm sun,
and time seems to just go at the best pace ever. slow and relaxing.

thai food

2008-08-10T23:58:00.003+08:00

few weeks ago,
we had Lerk Thai for dinner.

my tom yam chicken kway teow!

he had green curry chicken fried rice,

loves! (:

busy bee

2008-08-04T18:42:00.005+08:00

i've been out and about lately,
no time to spare!
i kinda like this feeling,
of being busy. and when it's time to sleep,
you have no worries about not being able to fall asleep.

when i reach home,
it's either to the gym or time to get cracking on school work.
time flies when you're busy.

in no time we'll be havin' our exams and we see the holidays again!

i was thinking of getting a part time job,
have a lil' more allowance.
to lift at least a lil' burden off my dad.
it's hard to ask for extra money,
it's not a nice thing to do,
after parents have been trying means to pay for your not so cheap school fees.

thinking about how long more your parents are able to work already makes me feel the responsibility right there. tough, but we'll manage.

schoolwork and projects are all currently at a steady pace and it's unlike poly i feel.
the people are 'manageable',
perhaps with the guys already done with army,
with a matured mind and all.

now i feel i have friends in school,
people whom i can click well with.
i just felt school was a total drag when i was in poly,
when i went to school to see schoolmates, and not friends.
it was boring and lifeless.
but i survived that.

one of the days we were at Clinic,
they have yummy but expensive drinks!

anyway, i had one of the nicest days on saturday,
with my boyfriend at the zoo!
his brother gave us a pair of tickets!
so we just went to see the animals.

my second trip this year,
but the children's world is still under construction. sob.
miss the lil' chicks and goats!!

we didn't take much pictures though,
but i like this particular place at the zoo.

weird pose, sorry.

haha, he walked away.

he was sneezing and sniffing almost the whole day,
and he said he was sorry!
poor dear, of course not, you were the one sneezing, and i feel sorry!!

hugs!

his heart of gold

2008-07-25T11:04:00.004+08:00

i fell hard down to the ground,
lay there motionless for awhile,
thinking why wasn't i being found.
for i hadn't the strength to be agile.

until someone came in the nick of time,
before my wounds go too infected to cure.
he pick me up so easily like a dime,
i was grateful for his heart was simply pure.

he grazed my wounds while i sobbed,
and questioned why i fell so hard.
he waited till he looked like he had heavy thoughts,
while i perspired trying to phrase my every word.

his persuasion made me spill the beans.

thinkin'

2008-07-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

i've been thinking a lot lately.
REALLY A LOT.

been down.

but been happy as well, especially my weekend.
feel all my burdens lifted away, away and far far away.

there are a lot of things to learn,
about being a good human being,
adjusting and adapting to my environment,
not tolerating them.

changing my character,
simply to be a good person with a good heart.

hearing his views on life, and working hard,
he has a vision and goals to work towards.
i can see his future in his own hands.

and i think about my future lying in my very own hands as well.

sian-ness

2008-07-16T02:32:00.006+08:00

I feel lazy to blow dry my hair,
so i browse through frienster.

and i have mixed feelings after seeing profiles of a few friends,
close or distant,
with pictures of themselves together with their boy/girl friends.

E.g.

Girl was with Boy.. they USED TO have pictures together (placed in friendster).
Suddenly i saw Boy had another girlfriend in his pictures!
Uhuh, so i checked out Girls's profile,
I see she is now with ANOTHER guy (pictures tell it all)

man, all it takes is just pictures that tell you the happenings of your friends.
interesting as it gets,
but in the meantime, realistic it becomes.

sometimes i think it's crazy but it's just technology that has made everything SO convenient, no?
hmm...
gawd, am i outdated and/or old fashioned?

i had school on monday, and will have my next lesson on thursday.
sounds easy man (i feel slacky already)
but assignments are like 'ewww'!

essays of 2-3 thousand words?!
if you want me to write about life's lessons or make up a fiction fairytale blah blah.. i'll say fine.

but an example - writing on:
'CRITICALLY examine the ways in which employee interests are expressed in the non union workplace'
man, this is totally err...
i seriously cannot comment.
*frowns*

i've been having the 'sian' feeling these couple of days,
or rather, they call it 'emo-ness'
and i've been shopping and shopping.

well, i watched movies too,
10 promises to my dog - it's wow.
i must say i had quite a bit of tears.

oh yes, not only is money spent on tangible stuff,
there's something else to note:
being in university does not speak of bus concession,

i conclude that cost of transport is MADNESS!
stepping out of my house and taking the cheapest public transport available is still bloody 'CHOR!'

dammit. if only i can fly.

"♥"

2008-07-14T15:19:00.004+08:00

sylvester's love cigs.
(:

blur pic cus of 2 megapixel camera phone.
sad.

holiday's work

2008-07-06T10:41:00.003+08:00

dammit, it's a sunday and tomorrow's a monday!
and so it speaks of school at 9.30am!

people ask me what have i done over the holidays,
well i can't say i've been a temp staff or whatsoever,
but i've done some data entry for Loreal (which i still have not gotten my pay)
and some makeup workshop as a face model for shu uemura.

people along this line aren't 'bitches' or 'senseless' people.
but if you're talking about bad ones, there are really those arrogant brats.

then one day shu uemura called me up to be their face model,
that was when i saw Cheryl from loreal
she asked, "did shu uemura called you back? you're good man, my kang tao"
okay, i actually paused a few seconds to think what that meant.
i think it's hokkien yes?
*blush*

ok, i helped her out in a shoot for U-weekly last year,
for their latest loreal products.
reward was that i got back those products that they used on me that day.
around 150bucks worth of stuff plus 5 bottles of makeup remover.

anyway, that day at shu uemura was awesome.
i met Zee and she's a really great girl to chat with.

a damn good makeup artist from japan flew over for the lash bar thingy.
he did his design on me.
it's stage makeup so if im NOT on stage, it looks damn drama.
he used face paint and indeed he is good.
i also had this gold patch on my left cheek, starting from under my eye.
dammit, i didn't have a chance to take a picture of his artwork.
because i had to wash up my face for another artwork.

i took a picture of the second one but it just looks like an entire blue patch on my right eye,
blame it on a 2megapixel camera phone ):

after that i got some products,
it may look like some products in the bag but i guess it's roughly 500bucks worth of stuff.
man, their stuffs are expensive.

school

2008-07-05T11:19:00.003+08:00

it's so happening!
i must say i like school (:

syl fetched me to school on the first day of school.
after class, joyce, syl and i went to have dinner.

second day, my classmates went to catch a movie
but i went to meet my pri school friends.

third day i was supposed to meet linda after school,
but she couldn't make it so i met another good friend and we went to town.
school's a good reason to buy new clothes.
i got two identical shorts, a top and a denim skirt

today we're having the NWS in school till 9.30pm,
and after that they're going for KTV.
man, don't think im going.

no money.

next week i've got lessons on mon, tues and wed.
and tues we're all gonna eat lunch and prolly catch a movie.

happening eh.
no class on thurs & fri too!

a friend asked me that day,
"how does it feel like being an undergrad?"

"err..." seriously i've no idea.

back to school

2008-07-01T21:26:00.001+08:00

school starts tomorrow~!

must admit im kinda excited :)

$$$$$$

2008-06-29T11:10:00.002+08:00

DU LAN !!!!!

5586 open

i jus got a new hp and those 4 digits are the last digits of the IMEI no.

we filled in the 4D paper yesterday, saw the long queue, didn't think we should buy.
this morning went to check s'pore pools out of curiousity.

WA LAU!

2nd prize!!!

if bought private, got 6k man!!!

nevermind, if the money's not yours, it's not yours ="(

whoopie pizza!

2008-06-02T12:32:00.005+08:00

he took me to california pizza kitchen last friday,
where he ordered:
a bbq chicken salad & a peking duck pizza.
the portions were BIG and YUMMY!

i think it's a great place for a group of 6 friends or so!
ya'll can then order different flavor pizzas to share!